If something is bothering you or on your mind, let it out. Give it to the paper, let your thoughts free flow, then read back to experience clarity in your thinking. It's a truly magical experience to understand how you process thoughts. Look at yourself in the mirror. Stare deep into your eyes and say: I deeply love and accept you. Some part of you heals every time you look at your reflection in the mirror and affirm love! You realize that you also deserve love and acceptance.
This means be easy-going, don't take everything so seriously.
Being a great friend to yourself unlocks long-term happiness.
Stop playing victim of your life and ease up on yourself! Don't look so deeply into everything, let it be. Bless what happened and affirm that you will only allow it to grow and expand you. This is a time to be totally present with yourself. As you sit in stillness, taking long deep breathes become aware of your thinking. Your thoughts are things and what you think you become. Let yourself fully be embraced by the stillness - allow it guide you into a higher experience of yourself.
Everything you think , doesn't need your attention. Get really picky with the thoughts you give your attention to.
What you give attention to, you declare it in your experience. I like to think of my thoughts as currency. If I go around buying things I don't want with my thoughts then, I will live in a house with things I don't want wondering why they are here. I bought them with my thought currency. In a discussion on my Facebook page , a man shared this statement:. This led to her being distant and secretive, and eventually she had an affair. This was her way to end the marriage We had so much codependence that we lost our identity. Would his wife have acted this way outside their relationship had she not felt as if her identity and independence were subsumed inside it?
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Positive reciprocal relationships encourage giving of yourself while your partner respects the boundaries of your need for independence—and vice versa. Left to fester, your anger can be expressed outside the relationship in uncomfortable or retaliatory ways. These behaviors and issues can end relationships—and in some cases, it is necessary for you to find your way out. But when you and your partner are open to change, it can be an opportunity to set boundaries around your self that also make room for the relationship to grow and deepen.
The less threatened you feel, the more open you can be. If each partner is willing to see change and the desire for an independent self within the relationship as an opportunity for growth, that in turn will promote a positive emotional environment. Have you become an extreme version of yourself? Awareness can be the first step in shifting toward rediscovering your independent identity within the relationship. This awareness can facilitate more direct and healthy communication with your partner about your needs.
Whether you choose to work on the relationship you have, or extricate yourself from it in favor of seeking a partner who better respects and honors your boundaries, you will begin to rebuild yourself into someone who feels far more in control, and therefore less extreme. I dealt with this issue in therapy during my first marriage to a wife with narcissistic personality disorder, and it ended in divorce.
Now I'm at midlife, well along in my 2nd marriage, and again dealing with this issue. I became depressed late last year and am seeing the same therapist for help, but really want my marriage to survive, so what advice do you have for a "repeat offender"? The pattern you are repeating is in recreating a primary dissatisfaction, probably with a narcissistic parent or sibling,and you are choosing partners who are the same in hopes of gaining love and recognition from this pseudo version of the original.
You are drawn to this type of person, and are finding that you are losing yourself in order to satiate a very needy and attention-demanding spouse. If spouse 2 is also narcissistic, she will not provide the loving, caring, compromising relationship you desire and deserve. Is she willing to go to couples counselling with you? Or is she "perfect" and "never wrong? Can you be a whole person who is not always walking on eggshells? In therapy, focus on healing.
Focus on rediscovering yourself. Focus on rebuilding your self confidence. Then see if the marriage needs saving, or if you need to save yourself.
How to Be With Someone But Still Be Yourself | Psychology Today
What you speak about I am starting to see in myself. I am starting to become this extreme version of myself and its scaring me. I feel that I am losing touch with who I was before I was in this relationship. I don't know what to do. I saw this happening earlier on in the relationship we have been together for one and a half years.
It seems I am growing more and more dependent on my boyfriend and thus having this feeling of losing the independence that I once had. This insecurity of mine is coming out on negative ways such as me getting upset about things that should not matter as much as it seems to me at the time, and then holding a grudge. I have never been this way. I know that I should be taking steps to gain my independence back but I just don't know how.
I really love my boyfriend and I don't want to have this relationship end because I cannot seem to control my feelings. I realize this is about "Me Before We", for people who require self-individuality to exist in a relationship. I know how the old argument goes with, "How can you love someone else, if you can't love yourself first? Ironically, I have found in my 30s that I usually find it easier to talk to women than men due to being sensitive, and people regularly assume that I am gay. I did have one relationship a few years back and really loved her.
One day I would like to love again. I hope you can in some way help. Reading your letter, a few things came to mind. People often talk about the impossibility of finding love until you love yourself, which can sound pretty trite. It may be tempting to think that all you need to do to get past this it is to meet someone who loves you unconditionally. But there is no dating app that will help you to achieve this.