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Pursue the big picture. Although you and your ex may have past disappointments and present disagreements, set aside negative thoughts and feelings for your child. Look, instead, at the bigger picture and consider how it will affect him in the long run.


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Establish a good working relationship with your ex on behalf of your child. Talk early in the season about how you are going to handle special days and events.


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When transitioning from home to home, arrive on time and keep goodbyes short to avoid extra stress. If, in the planning stages, the conversation gets heated, stop and arrange another time to talk.

Ex-Etiquette and Holidays

Equally important, do your own communicating; avoid making your child the messenger. Call for a compromise. Focus your efforts on quality time rather than quantity of gifts. Be gracious with gift exchanges.

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Helping your child make or choose a gift for his other biological parent models thoughtful, generous behavior you ultimately want to see displayed in him. In high-conflict situations, however, participating in these gift-giving endeavors may be too difficult.


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Extend courtesies to relatives. Keep grandparents and other family members central in his life during the holiday season. Come with other family members or attend alone; this is not the time to introduce casual dates.

When is it OK to Start Celebrating Without Ex?

Each parent should also be given time alone to interact with your child. For example, coordinate schedules so one parent takes him to the event and the other brings him home.

When parents of young children who have recently separated are willing to come together peacefully during the holidays, it gives their children the opportunity to experience the celebration as an intact family. It can be confusing for a child, who may already be dealing with reconciliation fantasy. Keep the time together fun, easy, and stress-free. Focus on your child, not on the relationship with your ex.

Divorce Advice and Support from Wevorce.com

Be a sounding board. Give your child the opportunity to discuss past holidays, if he desires. Most kids grieve the loss of an intact family with every holiday and at each stage in life. Be sensitive to this and keep an open line of communication so he can freely share his thoughts and feelings. The first few years after a separation and divorce can be the hardest time to enjoy the holidays.

Create a few new traditions, and bear in mind it takes time to heal wounds and adjust to a new family unit. Answering a myriad of questions unique to blended families, this comprehensive resource offers suggestions on how to determine who hosts milestone birthday parties, bar and Chicago Review Press Bolero Ozon.

Jann Blackstone-Ford , Sharyl Jupe. Through realistic and trusted advice, this innovative new guide brings the celebration back to the holidays for blended families. Answering a myriad of questions unique to blended families, this comprehensive resource offers suggestions on how to determine who hosts milestone birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, and Quinceaneras; coordinate who attends sporting events and concerts; and how to respectfully attend a former relative's funeral. A resource guide listing websites and books completes this new manners manual, which guides blended families from the first recitals and holidays apart to sporting events and graduations with fewer arguments and more respect.