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Download e-book for kindle: From The Plains...To Planes...And Other Plain Talk by John Whalen

Plain can be an adjective or a noun. As an adjective , plain means featureless or unremarkable.


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Plain ice cream has no toppings or extra ingredients, such as fudge or strawberries. Plain pizza is just cheese with no pepperonis, sausage, green peppers, or anything else. Something that is just plain stupid is stupid with no mitigating factors or other explanations.

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As a noun , a plain is a geographical feature characterized by a flat landscape and short vegetation, if any. The efforts prove meaningless and Neal is further delayed after having his cab inadvertently stolen by Del Griffith, a loquacious traveling salesman who sells shower curtain rings, while paying a greedy lawyer for it.

From The Plainsto Planesand Other Plain Talk by John Whalen on Apple Books

Their plane is diverted to Wichita due to a blizzard in Chicago. Neal, having realized that he has to spend the night in Wichita, agrees to accompany Del to a cheap motel. During the night, Neal loses his temper with Del and lambastes him. In response, Del admits that he regards Neal as a cold cynic and says that despite how Neal feels, he likes himself and his wife and customers like him.

Neal calms down and the two men go to sleep.

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During the night their cash is stolen by a burglar. The following day they attempt to reach Chicago by train. The two, much to Neal's relief, finally part ways, but the locomotive breaks down, leaving the passengers stranded in a Missouri field. After reaching Jefferson City, Del sells his remaining shower curtain rings to buy bus tickets, but neglects to tell Neal that they are only valid to St.


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  • Upon arrival, Neal inadvertently offends Del over lunch and the two part ways. Neal attempts to rent a car, but finds the space at the distant rental lot empty. After walking all the way back to the airport terminal, Neal vents his anger at the rental agent to no avail.

    In desperation, he attempts to hail a taxi to Chicago, but insults the dispatcher, who then attacks Neal. By chance, Del shows up again, arriving just in time to rescue Neal with his own rental car. While driving, they find themselves arguing again. The situation is made worse when Del nearly gets them killed on a freeway after driving in the wrong direction, almost hitting two semi-trailer trucks.

    While they take a moment to compose themselves by the side of the road, Del's carelessly discarded cigarette sets fire to the rental car's back seat. Neal initially gloats over Del's predicament, thinking that he is liable for the damage to the car. Neal's amusement turns to anger when Del reveals he used Neal's credit card to rent the car after their cards were accidentally switched.

    With his credit cards destroyed in the car fire, Neal sells his designer watch to a motel clerk to pay for a room for himself.