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Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best. Read more Read less. Add all three to Cart Add all three to List.

These items are shipped from and sold by different sellers. Buy the selected items together This item: You Better Not Cry: Ships from and sold by Amazon. Customers who viewed this item also viewed. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father. Sponsored products related to this item What's this? A powerful holocaust memoir that will leave you breathless and heartbroken, yet, inspired and hopeful! How could a young child survive all this? Long and Winding Road: Featuring writing from all four Beatles, contemporary critics and music historians, this is an essential volume for every music fan.

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Live Your Best Life: By Writing Your Own Eulogy. Includes sample eulogy-to-be, temp This life changing one-hour-read cuts through the fluff, and helps you get the best out of life. Start living a joyous, loving life today! From Publishers Weekly Burroughs's holiday-themed memoir lacks the consistent emotional intensity of his earlier work, despite a few gems.

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Christmas Song - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town Lyrics

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The video content is misleading. The ad is too long. The ad does not play. The ad does not inform my purchase. The video does not play. There is too much buffering. The audio is poor or missing. Video is unrelated to the product. Please fill out the copyright form to register a complaint. Try the Kindle edition and experience these great reading features: The New York Times. Stories for Christmas by Augusten Burroughs, Author. Retrieved August 9, The works of Augusten Burroughs. Retrieved from " https: Wikipedia articles with style issues from August All articles with style issues Pages to import images to Wikidata All stub articles.

Views Read Edit View history. This page was last edited on 9 August , at And really, it amazes me to see how completely different events can make two people experience exactly the same feeling. Listen with your chest. You will feel a pendulum swing within you, favoring one direction or another. And that is your answer. The answer is always inside your chest. The right choice weighs more.

It causes you to lean in its direction. Probably that passage explains very well why I ended up bringing this book home after several minutes of consideration. I am glad I bought this book. I give it three stars out of five for the stories, but overall four stars for its ability to evoke emotions. This is a book that will play with your feelings and allow you to experience different spectrums of emotions in just one sitting.

At the end of the day, it gives your heart a soft nudge that reminds you of Christmas and the essence of being a human: Nov 25, Aaron rated it really liked it. The newest option by Augusten Burroughs brings together seven short biographical essays relating to some of his Christmas experiences.

The stories are full of the wry wit that is found in much of the rest of his work, but I thought that the tales didn't float quite as well. In his earlier books, most of the stories had a common themed and flowed more evenly. The earliest pieces highlight his earliest confusion between Santa and Jesus since modern America seems to celebrate them equally during the The newest option by Augusten Burroughs brings together seven short biographical essays relating to some of his Christmas experiences.

The earliest pieces highlight his earliest confusion between Santa and Jesus since modern America seems to celebrate them equally during the holiday season.

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas by Augusten Burroughs

He later moves on to adulthood when he has a surprising interaction with a French Santa, a special Christmas with a boyfriend who is coming to terms with how AIDS has changed his life, and finding a great deal of holiday cheer despite things going terribly wrong with a new house. The last story seemed a little forced when it comes to the theme.

It is set during the Christmas season, but that is about the extent of things. It was a quick and enjoyable read, but definitely not Burroughs' best. Jan 22, Lynn rated it it was amazing Shelves: I was a Borders employee when I read this; Borders had selected it as a "make" book, so I read it. I laughed hysterically at certain points and was confounded at other times, for various reasons. I forewarned all my coworkers to screen customers showing interest for language and homosexuality I am interested to read some of his other books now.

His writing is raw and uncensored to a great degree, at least in my opinion! By b I was a Borders employee when I read this; Borders had selected it as a "make" book, so I read it. By book's end I had an appreciation for my more "normal" Christmas memories, especially from childhood! Although this is not necessarily one of my favorite books of all time, I feel it is one of the best of its type and it was one of the most thought-provoking books I've ever read, creating some indelible and unforgettable visual memories Mar 24, Joyce Mason rated it it was amazing.

This is my hands-down favorite of all the Augusten Burroughs books I have read to date. As the book flap says, he's "pathologically honest" and this time, he's not just painfully funny but totally touching as he recounts moments of both love and madness about the holiday packed with such longing and often disappointment. As a writer myself, there are few times I have what I call "Venus envy," where a passage is so beautifully written, I wish I'd done it myself. There were a half-dozen of those f This is my hands-down favorite of all the Augusten Burroughs books I have read to date.

There were a half-dozen of those for me--quotable, insightful, and painted like a literary Monet. In contrast to the last Burroughs book I had read, Possible Side Effects, which fell a little short for me, this one left me wanting to say to the author in the inimitable words of Ralph Malph on Happy Days, "You've still got it. Jan 05, Claire rated it really liked it Shelves: Burroughs is in top form again with a series of episodes from his life occurring around Christmas. Outrageous, horrifying, moving, full of humor and humanity.

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Through it all, I was rooting for him. The stories occur at different points in his life, but I always felt in the often Oh No! If you liked Running With Scissors , you'll like this. Nor does one need to be into Christmas to enjoy it. He spent time fed up with the com Burroughs is in top form again with a series of episodes from his life occurring around Christmas. He spent time fed up with the commercial holiday craze too.

As someone who has always been intrigued by what writers say in dedications and thanks, I particularly liked the part of his acknowledgments that reads: Dec 21, RebeccaS rated it really liked it Shelves: I thought I knew what to expect from this book having read Running With Scissors many many years ago , but I was wrong.

I like Augusten's writing style about his own life and enjoyed that he narrated his own audiobook. The stories were all about Christmas in his past and they were all bizarre and wild and very different as his life progressed. He has more memory of his Christmases than I have of an I thought I knew what to expect from this book having read Running With Scissors many many years ago , but I was wrong. He has more memory of his Christmases than I have of any of mine. It's amazing how far Augusten has come, and this glimpse into just some of his holidays past shows how much he has been through and how much he may have changed.

Really enjoyed it and recommend it for anyone looking for an adult Christmas book. Jan 19, Laren rated it really liked it Shelves: For his latest foray into his life, the author relates significant Christmas-themed tales. As always, humor abounds. By far the funniest is the first one, in which he relates just how confused he was about Jesus and Santa Claus as a child, and why.

Several of the tales are for adult readers only drunken stupors with homeless people, anonymous sex with "Santa" and if you can't stomach the fact that he is gay, you should skip this altogether, because you probably won't properly appreciate the be For his latest foray into his life, the author relates significant Christmas-themed tales.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Several of the tales are for adult readers only drunken stupors with homeless people, anonymous sex with "Santa" and if you can't stomach the fact that he is gay, you should skip this altogether, because you probably won't properly appreciate the beauty of the final story involving Christmas with his atheist boyfriend, his brother, his neighbor and a completely flooded house.

Once again this author proves that no matter what craziness life throws at him, he can turn it into a really good story. Dec 13, Chris rated it liked it Shelves: But you will cry when you read these stories-either from laughter or sadness. The adult ones are Christmases not to remember, but ones you can't escape. The ones as a self proclaimed alcoholic with lovers dying from AIDS are poignant and dark.

A very different book that stimulates you to think of all your Christmases. Apr 28, Rebecca McNutt rated it did not like it Shelves: Was this supposed to be funny? Oh my god, that's just sad. This is one case where you should most definitely judge the book by its cover; nevermind the fact that Augusten Burroughs is notorious for possibly publishing malicious lies about his guardian family in the memoir Running With Scissors , but not only is this next book of his incredibly hard to believe ever truly happened, but its "humor" really crosses the line from being dark humor to nasty, crass and disgusting.

Dec 22, Ashley rated it liked it Shelves: What the hell library??? Nov 13, Carol Ann rated it it was ok. Our book club chose this for our November read, getting us into the holiday spirit early. I mean, how festive is that cover? And the opening line: I'm glad his frontal lobe took so long to develop or we may have missed out on these zany stories surrounding Christmas, the author's FAVORITE holiday and yet, a day that always turned out horribly for him. Aside from a disturbing chapter involving a French Santa, I Our book club chose this for our November read, getting us into the holiday spirit early.

Aside from a disturbing chapter involving a French Santa, I enjoyed most of his stories. Burroughs writes beautifully; his descriptions paint vivid images and I often felt as though I was sitting with him as he recounted these stories directly to me. I found myself responding, "Why on earth would you do that??? Turn the water off already! There are some great lines in this book, many that made me laugh and many that were heartfelt and insightful. For example, "Therapists, I felt, were like poodles; there were simply too many of them for all to be good.

Had I focused myself I could have easily finished this book in one or two sittings even being the slow reader that I am. Overall, I thought it was an okay book but not something I'd rave about. Even so, I'm glad I read it and if you enjoy short stories about a non-nitwit kid making comical mixups between Santa and Jesus, along with stories of love, sacrifice, and loss, you might give this one a try. Dec 06, Regina rated it liked it. The comparisons to David Sedaris's "Holidays on Ice" are inevitable. I slightly preferred this one, but it still wasn't the put-me-in-the-Christmas-spirit-with-laughter book I'm looking for this year.

Sep 01, Lori Gibbany rated it it was amazing. I know that not everyone will agree with thoughts on this book. It was so funny and honest. Honesty is one thing we expect from this author but this is amazing.


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I love the little glimpses we get into this amazing life. Major theme overcoming adversity. Mar 22, Edmund Davis-Quinn rated it really liked it. I couldn't figure out if these were stories based on truth or memoir. A lot of it seemed to over the top for truth and different from his memoir pieces. I'm glad I have an easier relationship with Christmas. It's a nice holiday with some wonderful church music that commercialism has made into a mad dash to spend money on items destined for Goodwill.

Dec 11, Joanna Marie rated it really liked it Shelves: This is my first time to read an Augusten Burroughs' memoir and I am delighted to have started with his stories for Christmas. His stories are not your typical Christmas stories of love, giving gifts, spending time with family or loved one, or caroling houses. It's about how a curious child can shape the real meaning of Christmas as a substance, and not only a holiday while knowing Santa and celebrating Christmas itself at unusual situations.

While he questioned about Santa or Jesus Christ's birt This is my first time to read an Augusten Burroughs' memoir and I am delighted to have started with his stories for Christmas. And how he discovered something about himself from there - smelling, feeling Santa face to face while standing on a platform beside their Christmas tree. Not to mention his unique tastes in gifts. Augusten also showed me different faces of Santa, different forms of acceptance and unconditional love, as an adult who isn't afraid to show his strengths and weaknesses in times of laughter and despair.

His flaws taught me how to appreciate the little things, even the dirty things that I overlook while happily celebrating the holidays. I better not cry reading this, but he made me tear up as he fought his love for George until the end; touched my heart a bit more and made me smile as he moved on to his next chapter with Alex.

Augusten has a big heart. His stories of Christmas are worth reading and sharing with everybody, especially to those who still wonder about the real symbol of it. Quotable quotes from my fave stories: I thought, if I had been born with a talent that large I never would have started drinking.

Almost like having such a huge gift would insulate you or protect you.

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Because it would feel like you had this destiny. And something in me just fucking clicked. And that may seem like a small difference to you, but all I have ever needed in life was a maybe. I nodded as the waitress finally approached. And it was the sandwiches, too. It was how automatically she tossed away those precious five or ten early morning moments alone on her porch with her coffee. Unavailable at any mall or even Cartier. The hardy, incorruptible, and now exceedingly rare variety of Christmas—more of a substance than a holiday. Dennis watched it, too.

A couple of times, he turned to look at me and he was smiling. But then I did, a little. And he was holding my hand and I was holding his back. We stayed that way for a little while. Then without us even knowing it, midnight arrived. And it became Christmas. He squeezed my hand. Anyone, but especially addicts of any kind. Augusten Burroughs really blew this one out of the water. He made me laugh, he made me sad I can't say 'cry' , he was touching and sincere, mean and petty, spiteful and backstabbing.

You Better Not Cry. A hilarious story of Augusten's childhood and his inability to tell Jesus and Santa apart. A funny story about Little Augusten's failed attempt to make a gingerbread house, ending with love for his brother. A story that giv Augusten Burroughs really blew this one out of the water. A loving mother tops the ending off nicely.